Man: Honey, the basketball game is about to start. And could you bring some chips and a bowl of ice cream? And . . . uh . . . a slice of pizza from the fridge.
Woman: Anything else?
Man:Nope, that's all for now. Hey, hon, you know, they're organizing a company basketball team, and I'm thinking about joining. What do you think?
Woman: Humph
Man: "Humph" What do you mean "Humph." I was the star player in high school.
Woman: Yeah, twenty-five years ago. Look, I just don't want you having a heart attack running up and down the court.
Man:So, what are you suggesting? Should I just abandon the idea? I'm not that out of shape.
Woman: Well . . . you ought to at least have a physical before you begin. I mean, it HAS been at least five years since you played at all.
Man:Well, okay, but . . .
Woman: And you need to watch your diet and cut back on the fatty foods, like ice cream. And you should try eating more fresh fruits and vegetables.
Man: Yeah, you're probably right.
Woman: And you should take up a little weight training to strengthen your muscles or perhaps try cycling to build up your cardiovascular system. Oh, and you need to go to bed early instead of watching TV half the night.
Man: Hey, you're starting to sound like my personal fitness instructor!
Woman: No, I just love you, and I want you to be around for a long, long time.
………………………
.My name's Randall Davis, and I'm originally from the state of Indiana in the United States. When I was 19 years old, I moved to Venezuela in South America, and later returned to the United States, where I attended Brigham Young University in the 1980s. I majored in Spanish education and TESOL, or teaching English as a second language. After graduating from college, my wife and I moved to Japan where we lived for eight years. Now, I work back in the States in Utah.
However, my greatest interests are my family. Years ago, I wanted to make something of myself in my profession . . . you know . . . get ahead in life. However, I realized that the most important things in life lived within the walls of my own home, and today, I try to put them first. My kids wouldn't remember me for the work I did outside of the home; they would only recall the moments we spent together.
Therefore, I enjoy spending time with my family. I have four children, and we go hiking and camping together, usually in Utah. On our hikes, we often talk about life, and I tell stories or share personal experiences. When I do this, I can focus on the kids without the distractions of video games or the Internet. Telling stories sounds easy, but when you have to think of a new story on a hot, 12-kilometer hike through the desert, you have come up with ideas off the top of your head.
Now, this doesn't mean we don't have problems; all families face challenges in their lives, and our family is no exception. However, we try to talk openly about our problems, and we try solve our problems together. Building a strong family takes time, but it is worth the effort.
…………………………………………………………..
Police Officer: Hello. 24th Precinct. Officer Jones speaking.
Man: Help. Yeah, uh, it was wild, I mean really bizarre.
Police Officer: Calm down sir! Now, what do you want to report?
Man: Well, I'd like to report a UFO sighting.
Police Officer: A what?
Man: What do you mean "what?" An unidentified flying object!
Police Officer: Wait, tell me exactly what you saw.
Man: Well, I was driving home from a party about three hours ago, so it was about 2:00 AM, when I saw this bright light overhead.
Police Officer: Okay. And then what happened?
Man: Oh, man. Well, it was out of this world. I stopped to watch the light when it disappeared behind a hill about a kilometer ahead of me.
Police Officer: Alright. Then what?
Man: Well, I got back in my car and I started driving toward where the UFO landed.
Police Officer: Now, how do you know it was a UFO? Perhaps you only saw the lights of an airplane [No], or the headlights of an approaching car [No]. Things like that happen, you know.
Man: Well if it was that, how do you explain "the BEAST"?
Police Officer: What do you mean, "the BEAST"?
Man: Okay. I kept driving for about five minutes when all of a sudden, this giant, hairy creature jumped out in front of my car.
Police Officer: Oh, yeah.Then what?
Man: Well, then, the beast picked up the front of my car and said, "Get out of the car. I'm taking you to my master!" Something like that.
Police Officer: Wow? A hairy alien who can speak English! Come on!
Man: I'm not making this up, if that's what you're suggesting. Then, when I didn't get out of the car, the beast opened the car door, carried me on his shoulders to this round-shaped flying saucer, and well, that's when I woke up along side the road. The beast must have knocked me out and left me there.
Police Officer: Well, that's the best story I've heard all night, sir. Now, have you been taking any medication, drugs, or alcohol in the last 24 hours? You mentioned you went to a party.
Man: What? Well, I did have a few beers, but I'm telling the truth.
Police Officer: Okay, okay. We have a great therapist that deals with THESE kinds of cases.
Man: I'm not crazy.
Police Officer: Well, we'll look into your story. Thank you.
……………………………………………………..
Russell: Hey Dave. How was your weekend?
Dave: Not bad. I went downtown to watch a flick with my roommate.
Russell: How was it?
Dave: Oh, the movie was awesome; the company wasn't.
Russell: What do you mean?
Dave: Well, I liked the movie, but my roommate is a real airhead. [Ugh] We started talking about this and that, and he thought the Titanic was some boat the Japanese sank during World War II.
Russell: Oh, oh. Whoa. Not a very bright guy.
Dave: Yeah, and he's a real couch potato. He invited me over to his parent's house to watch TV. Wow. I bet watching TV is his only hobby, but he sure doesn't know much.
Russell: Too bad. Hey, do you wanna go out and get something to drink? It's pretty early.
Dave: Nah. I'm gonna hit the sack. I have a test tomorrow morning, and I wanna be ready for it.
………………………………………………………..
Girl: Dad, I need a few supplies for school, and I was wondering if . . . .
Dad: Yeah. There are a couple of pencils and an eraser in the kitchen drawer, I think.
Girl: Dad, I'm in eight grade now, and I need REAL supplies for my demanding classes.
Dad: Oh, so you need a ruler too?
Girl: Dad, I need some high-tech tech stuff like a calculator, a Palm Pilot, and a laptop computer.
Dad: Uh. I didn't have any of that when I was in middle school, and I did just fine.
Girl: Yeah, and they weren't any cars either, WERE there. [Hey] And things are just more progressive now.
Dad: Well, we can rule out the hand pilot [Palm Pilot, Dad]. Whatever, AND the computer . . . unless mom lets you sell the car. And as for the adding machine [Calculator]. Yeah, I think mine from college is kicking around here somewhere.
Girl: Dad, I need a calculator for geometry, and I have heard you can download free software from the Internet.
Dad: Great. My daughter will be playing video games in geometry class.
Girl: Dad.
Dad: Okay. How much is this thing going to cost me?
Girl: Well, I saw it at the store for only $99, WITH a $10 mail-in rebate, or you could buy it online.
Dad: Oh. Do they throw in a few aspirin so your father can recover from sticker shock?
Girl: Dad. Please!!!. Everyone has one [I've heard that before.] and you always say you want me to excel in school, and I'll chip in $10 of my own, and I'll even pick up my room [Hey!!].
Dad: Hmmm, 100 bucks.
Dad: Well, you'll be supporting me in my old age, so, I guess so. When do you need it?
Girl: Now, right now. [Now!] Mom's already waiting in the car for us. [Huh?] She said she would buy me an ice cream if I could talk you into to buying it for me today.
……………………………………………….
Man: Hi. I have a reservation for tonight, and I just want to check in.
Hotel Clerk: Sure. What's your name?
Man: Uh. Mike Adams.
Hotel Clerk: Okay. Let me check here. Um. Here's your key to open your door. You're in room 360. Just walk down this hall [Okay.], and you'll see the elevators on your right.
Man: Oh, okay, and what time is the restaurant open for breakfast?
Hotel Clerk: It serves breakfast from 6:30-10 a.m.
Man: Oh, okay. And, uh, where's the exercise room? I'd like to, you know, run a couple of miles before going to bed tonight.
Hotel Clerk: It's on the second floor, and it's open til 10 tonight [Okay.], but the treadmill isn't working.
Man: Oh, oh well. And one final question. Do you have wireless Internet in the rooms?
Hotel Clerk: We DO [Ah!]. . . for $7.95 a night.
Man: Uhhh, I thought something like that would be free.
Hotel Clerk: No, sorry, sir but you can get free wireless access if you sit in the parking lot on the far north side. [Oh!] You see, the hotel next to us has wireless and . . . .
Man: Oh, great. Um, and uh . . . forget that. And every room has a refrigerator, right?
Hotel Clerk: Well, we can have one put in your room for an additional ten dollars a night.
Man: Ahhhh. I thought something like that would be included in the price of the room.
Hotel Clerk: Sorry, sir.
Man: Well, you know, it . . . it kind of irks me it when hotels nickel-and-dime their guests like this. I mean, I checked with sev(eral hotels) . . . I mean I checked with sev(eral hotels) . . .
Hotel Clerk: You really should have checked this one too, shouldn't you have, buddy.
Man: (Laughing) I . . . I guest that I . . . I'm all flustered now. I mean all the other hotels provide these amenities for free.
Hotel Clerk: Sorry, sir. It's just the way it is at this hotel.
Man: And the bed? Is that extra too?
Hotel Clerk: Of course . . . NOT.
Man: Oh. I've had it. I'll just try the hotel across the street. I'm sure they'll give me better service.
Hotel Clerk: Okay, but you'd be canceling your reservation here, so we'll have to charge you a cancellation fee of 50% of the cost of the room.
Man: Ahhhh, forget it. I can't win either way. What's my room again?
Hotel Clerk: Three sixty (360).
Man: Ughhhhhh!!!
Key Vocabulary [Top]
• mile (noun): 1 mile = 1.6 kilometers
- Drive down this road about three miles, and you'll see the hotel on the right side of the street.
• treadmill (noun): a piece of exercise equipment that moves a belt as you run or walk on it
- The exercise room at the hotel has two treadmills, so you should be able to run a little before we go out tonight.
• irk (verb): someone or something that bothers you
- It really irks me whenever a hotel room isn't clean.
• nickel-and-dime (verb): take away someone`s money by making the person pay small amounts for something
- You need the receipt to return that stuff to the store. Otherwise, they won't refund your money.
• be flustered (adjective): be in a bothered or confused state
- The hotel guest was really flustered when I couldn't figure out how to open his hotel room door.
• provide (verb): give or make something available
- You can buy all of the provide for your trip in this section of the mall.
• amenities (noun): things or services that make you comfortable
- We chose this hotel because of the many amenities available to guests.
• I've had it (idiom): used to say that someone is tired or annoyed by something
- My wife has had it with this hotel's poor service, so we've decided to check out and go somewhere else.
• fee (noun): an amount of money you pay for something
- - Many hotels charge additional fees for wireless Internet and other services, so be sure to check carefully before making a hotel reservation.
…………………………………………………………
Rental Car Agent: Hi. How can I help you?
Customer: Yeah. I'd like to rent a mid-size car for three days.
Rental Car Agent: Okay. Let me check to see if we have one available. Hmmm. It's doesn't look like we do. We have a couple of economy, compact, and full-size cars available, or a nice minivan.
Customer: Well, what is the main difference between these cars?
Agent: The main difference is size. The economy car is the smallest, and it seats fewer passengers and can hold less luggage. [Okay.] How many people are with you?
Customer: Just me and my son.
Rental Car Agent: Well, the economy car would work. We have one right out front.
Customer: Where? That one? It looks more like a shoebox to me. I'm really tall and trying squeeze into that thing . . . I don't think so.
Rental Car Agent: Well, if you need more room or comfort, I recommend the full-size car. It also has a nice stereo system, CD player, [Alright] safety rear door locks, and cruise control, and power locks and windows.
Customer: Well, I'm not so concerned about how it's equipped. I just want to make sure it is comfortable to drive. And what is the daily rate for that anyway?
Rental Car Agent: Well, let's see here. Oh, yeah. It'll come to fifty-seven ninety-five a day.
Customer: Wow, a little expensive. But what's the cost for mileage?
Rental Car Agent: Hey, all of our cars have unlimited miles, but of course, that doesn't include gas.
Customer: Yeah, right. I bet that car probably eats up gas, and now that were in the middle of the vacation season, gas stations are gouging consumers with astronomical prices.
Rental Car Agent: Well, as they say, it comes down to the law of supply an demand.
Customer: Well, anyway, can you install a car seat in one of those cars? I have a 3-year-old son with me.
Rental Car Agent: Sure, and that'll only be one dollar extra per day.
Customer: I'll go with the full-size car. Wait, uh . . . what does it look like?
Rental Car Agent: Uh, it's right out there in the parking lot. [Which one?] The one over there next to the sidewalk.
Customer: Do you mean that old lemon with the missing hubcap? Ahhh.
Rental Car Agent: Sir, excuse me. We take pride in our vehicles. It's just that it's one of the last cars on our lot, but it runs like a dream. Don't let the exterior fool you. Hey, I'll even give you an extra fifteen dollars off the daily rate to show you we are serious about pleasing our customers. Will there be any other drivers?
Customer: No, I'm the only driver.
Rental Car Agent: Okay. Would you like to purchase our daily car protection plan?
Customer: What's that exactly?
Rental Car Agent: Well, the car protection plan is a complete insurance package covering damage to the vehicle, [Okay] injury or loss of life to you or your passengers [Oh]. It even includes incidental road damage caused by, let's say, a huge boulder rolling down the mountain and crushing your car. [Oh, uh, well . . . ]. However, it won't cover loss of property due to theft. Too much crime in the area anyway. [What? Wh . . . What about this crime? What, what?]. Don't worry about it. And the car protection plan is only seventeen ninety-five per day. [But you were saying?] And the nicest thing about this coverage is that you can rent the car without the worry and hassle of making a complicated claim in case you do have a problem.
Customer: But wouldn't my own car insurance cover those problems?
Rental Car Agent: It might, but each insurance policy is different. With our car protection plan, however, you deal directly with us in case there is a problem [Well . . . ], and we handle everything quickly, and you don't have to contact your own insurance company.
Okay. Let me just confirm this. A full-size car with a car seat for three days [Yeah], plus the car protection package. Is that right? [That's right.] Okay, I'll have our mechanic, Louie, check the car over and pull it up to the door.
Customer: Push it up to the door? I hope this car really runs.
Rental Car Agent: Well, in case it does break down on some out-of-the-way, deserted road, just call the toll-free number for assistance. They'll come to assist you within . . . two business days. [Two business days!!!] Enjoy your trip.
………………………………………………………….
Man: Well, Christmas is almost here. So, what do you want from Santa this year?
Micky: A toy car and walkie-talkies.
Man: Really? Well, and what about you, Emily? What do you want for Christmas?
Emily: If I can't have a Barbie radio, um, I would have some fragile dolls. And if I can't have some fragile dolls, it doesn't really matter what I get.
Man: Wow. Well, I'm excited, and Santa is coming. And how is Santa going to get inside the house, Micky?
Micky: Um, go down the chimney . . .
Man: Okay, so he's going to go down the chimney, and should we prepare anything for Santa?
Micky: Yeah!
Man: What are we going to prepare for him, Emily?
Emily: Um. We could prepare some cookies for him and some hot chocolate, and, um, we could give Rudolph some, um, hot chocolate in a bowl and a cookie. And we could give some of the reindeer some cookies and some hot chocolate in a bowl.
Man: Well, what do you think? They, Um, reindeer probably don't eat cookies, but what else could we give them, Micky?
Micky: Um, apples.
Man: Ah, that's good. And, uh . . .
Emily: Oranges and bananas.
Man: Okay and what time do you think we should go to bed?
Emily: Um, seven.
Man: About seven o'clock. Well, that's exciting. I'm really happy that Christmas is coming.
………………………………………………….
Man: I wonder if this is going to be an interesting class.
Woman: Yeah. Me too. So, what's your major?
Man: Well, I've been batting around the idea of going into business, but I haven't decided yet. And my dad keeps telling me I have to choose a major, but I'm undeclared at the moment.
Woman: Ah, that's what happened to me my freshman year.
Man: Oh, so what year are you in school?
Woman: I'm a senior, and I only have to take 10 more credits to graduate. Yeah!
Man: Well. That must feel great to be almost finished with school.
Woman: You can say that again, but once I graduate, I have to start repaying a student loan, so I'm not looking forward to that.
Man: But didn't your parents help you out with your college tuition?
Woman: No. My dad said he wasn't made of money, so he thought I should earn my own education, so I worked like crazy in the summer and part-time during the school year to cover most of my costs. [Well, that's parents for you.] And, I received some financial aid and a scholarship one year, which really saved me. [Ah, that's nice.] But this past year, school has been more demanding, so I haven't been able to work as much.
Man: Well, you know, at least you see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Woman: That's true.
Man: Well, have you lined up a job yet?
Woman: Not yet, but I'm trying to line up a few interviews at the job fair next month.
Man: Well, at least you have some ideas on your future. I mean, I'm taking a business class right now, and the teacher always lectures us by saying that life is difficult, and we should prepare for our futures by setting realistic goals. And the only place that success comes before . . .
Woman: . . . work is in the dictionary. {Yeah!?] Yeah. I've heard that all before. Let me guess. Is your teacher Paul Jones?
Man: Yeah. How do you know? I mean, did you have him too? I mean, the guy is, you know, he's just really . . .
Woman: He's my dad. Yeap.
Man: Your dad? I mean, I didn't mean anything by what I said. I wasn't bad-mouthing him or anything. I mean he's a good teacher and all. It's just that . . .
Woman: . . . he's a dad. That's what dads do. Lecture. He has about a thousand sermons on life, and he always shares them in his classes.
Man: Yeah. Well, um . . . , nice talking with you. I have . . . I have to go.
Woman: Same here. Bye. I'll tell Mr. Jones you said hello, and maybe we can study together at my house? [Nah, nah, nah . . .]
…………………………………………………
Phone Recording: Hello and thank you for calling computer technical support.
Caller: Uh, yes, I have a problem . . .
Phone Recording: Your call is important to us, and we will answer your call in the order that it was received. You are number 47 in the queue. Your approximate waiting time is 47 minutes.
Technical support: Jason, speaking. How can I help you?
Caller: Oh, I'm saved. I thought I was going to have to wait all day.
Technical support: Okay, what's the problem?
Caller: Yeah, well, I bought one of your laptop computers about three weeks ago, but it just isn't running right.
Technical support: Okay, well, sorry to say, but your computer is no longer under warranty. [What?!] It ran out yesterday.
Caller: What? A three-week warranty? [Yeah, great isn't it.]. Ah!!!
Technical support: Okay, okay, what seems to be the problem?
Caller: Well, first of all, the thing always freezes [Yeah.] and has crashed at least a zillion times . . . [Always.]
Technical support: Uh, sir . . .
Caller: . . . and I think the computer's infected with spyware and the big banana trojan virus . . . [That's normal.] That's my biggest . . . that's normal? . . . That's my biggest concern.
Technical support: Oh, oh, uh, sir . . .
Caller: . . . and plus there was a ton of preinstalled, third-party programs that just clutter the computer, and I'm at wit's end trying to get this thing to work.
Technical support: Sir. I have to put you on hold.
Caller: What?
Technical support: It's going to take us a minute or so to diagnose the problem. [Huh?!] I'm going to transfer you to our ONE technician.
Caller: One . . . one!? But . . .
Phone Recording: Thank you for waiting. Your call is important to us. You are number 84 in the queue. You approximate waiting time is 2 hours, 17 minutes or whenever we get around to answering your call.
[ End of call and continuation of computer advertisement . . . ]
Caller and Narrator: Does this experience sound familiar? Then, do what I did. If your computer is holding your hostage and you can't get the service you deserve, then call Turbo Command, creators of the safest and most reliable computers and operating system on the planet.
Listen, while the competition is spending all of their time trying to imitate our computer's performance and features, our company is innovating the computer industry. So, why buy a computer that hiccups every time you turn it on when you can be the owner of the sleekest and friendliest machine ever.
Call us today or visit our Website for more information, and let us introduce you to the ultimate computer experience.
………………………………………………..
Father: Time to eat!
Daughter: Coming. Oh, I'm starving. [Good, good.] Oh yuck! What's that?
Father: Ah, now don't complain!
Daughter: But what is it, and where is mom?
Father: Now, mom put me in charge of dinner because she's not feeling well tonight.
Daughter: But what is it . . . and that smell!
Father: It's pizza. I just followed an old family recipe here, and . . .
Daughter: Let me see that . . . Oh, Dad. [What?] You're missing a page!
Father: Oh, uh, well, uh . . . well I couldn't find the second page of the recipe, but don't worry. I have plenty of experience around the house. Plenty of experience cooking.
Daughter: That's not what mom says.
Father: Well, wait, wait, here let me try a piece first. Here, let me, let me cool this off here. Ohhh, yeah. Oh, this is great stuff.
Daughter: Yeah right. Why are you making that face?
Father: Well, well, it's just, just a little rich for me. That's all.
Daughter: Let me try it Dad. Uh. Dad. You put a little too much salt in it and besides it's burned. [Well . . . ] And what's that?
Father: Oh, well, well, that's just part of my own adaptation to the recipe. I added some pumpkin.
Daughter: Oh, not another one of your surprises. Pumpkin doesn't go on pizza!
Father: Well, okay, well, so what? Uh, what do we do now?
Daughter: Well, how about some cold cereal . . . You can't mess up on that, Dad.
………………………………………………………
Daughter: Guess what, Mom. I got it.
Mother: Great. That's super.
Father: What's going on? So, what did you get me?
Daughter: Nothing. I got my driver's license. Okay. Bye.
Father: Wait, wait, wait. Where are you going?
Daughter: Mom said I could take the car to school this morning, and . . .
Father: Hold on here. I've prepared a few rules regarding the use of the motor vehicles in this house.
Daughter: Like what?
Father: Let me get my notes here.
Daughter: Dad! That looks like a book? Mom, Dad's being mean to me.
Father: Okay, let me get my reading glasses here. Okay, here we are. Rule number one: No driving with friends for the first six months.
Daughter: What?
Father: Teenagers often lack the judgment to drive responsibly, especially when several teenagers are involved. I mean they speed, they joyride, they cruise around town way past midnight.
Daughter: But that's not me! Do I really need this lecture? This is such a drag!
Father: Furthermore, who really needs a car when a pair a shoes will work? I mean, life was different when I was your age. In fact, I used to walk to school . . .
Daughter: Yeah, yeah. I know. Both ways uphill in ten feet of snow. I've heard this story many times.
Father: Yeah. Oh, where were we? Oh yes. Rule number two: You always must wear your seat belt and obey the rules of the road.
Daughter: Duh. I wasn't born yesterday.
Father: Okay, rule number three: You can't drive long distances at night because you might get drowsy and drive off the road. But driving to the movie theater is fine.
Daughter: But the theater is right across the street from our house.
Father: Exactly, so you can just park in the driveway and walk there.
Daughter: Mom! Dad's being unreasonable.
Father: And rule number four: You should never use a cell phone while driving. That could cause an accident.
Daughter: But YOU do.
Father: That's different.
Daughter: How's it different? You even need my help to turn your cell phone on.
Father: And rule number five: Remember that I love you, and I'm just a protective father who wants his daughter to always be safe.
Daughter: Does that mean I can take the car now?
Father: Well, I don't know.
Daughter: Please dad, please. You're the best dad in the whole wide world.
Father: That's not what you said earlier.
Daughter: Hey, having the car keys in my hands changes my whole perspective on life.
Father: Well, okay. I guess if I'm considered the best dad in the world for five minutes, then I'll accept that.
Daughter: Yeah.
Father: Okay, but drive carefully and don't forget to fill up the car with gas before you come home. [Bye. Love ya guys.] Okay. Hon, do you think I did the right thing?
Mother: Yeah. She has to grow up sometime.
…………………………………………………..
Operator: Hello. This is the emergency 911 operator.
Taxi Driver: Help. Help. Please help me!
Operator: Yes sir. Please calm down and explain exactly what is happening.
Taxi Driver: Calm down! My car is stalled on the freeway, I have a lady passenger, and she's going into labor.
Operator: Now relax sir. Explain exactly where you are.
Taxi Driver: I'm . . . I'm in the southbound lane of the Lincoln Expressway, about 15 miles from the Washington Tunnel, and this lady isn't going to wait.
Operator:Okay. What's you name sir and your passanger's?
Taxi Driver: It's ... it's Bob, and I have no idea about the woman. She's in no condition to tell me.
Operator: Okay, now what's the nearest landmark to your location? Pay careful attention.
Taxi Driver: Umm, I see golden arches . . . McDonalds.
Operator: Okay, is there anyone else with you?
Taxi Driver: No, and I've tried to get someone else to stop. [The sound of a bottle breaking.]
Operator: Hey, what was that? [Ahhhh!]
Taxi Driver: Ah, someone threw a bottle at me. How soon can someone get here?
Operator: I've just dispatched an ambulance to your location. They should be there any second.
Taxi Driver: Hey, is there anything I can do while we wait for the ambulance?
Operator: Yes, uh, keep her calm and warm.
Taxi Driver: Okay. Please hurry. Oh, they're too late. It's a boy!
…………………………………
.Josh: Hey, I hear you and Stephanie are really getting serious.
Michael: Yeah, I think she'll be impressed with my new exercise program.
Josh: What? What are you talking about? What exercise program? What did you tell her?
Michael: Well, you know, I enjoy staying in shape. [Right] First, I generally get up every morning at 5:30 a.m.
Josh: Oh, yeah. Since when? You don't roll out of bed until at least 7:30 p.m.
Michael: No, no, and on Mondays and Wednesdays, . . .
Josh: Ah, not another tall tale . . .
Michael: I almost always go jogging for about a half hour, you know, to improve my endurance.
Josh: Hey, jogging to the refrigerator for a glass of milk doesn't count.
Michael: Of course, before I leave, I usually make sure I do some stretches so I don't pull a muscle on my run.
Josh: Right. One jumping jack.
Michael: Then, I told her that I usually lift weights Tuesdays and Thursdays for about an hour after work.
Josh: Humph.
Michael: This really helps me build muscle strength.
Josh: A one-pound barbell.
Michael: Finally, I often go hiking on Saturdays with my dog [What dog!?], well, and I like hiking because it helps me burn off stress and reduce anxiety that builds up during the week.
Josh: Oh yeah, those lies.
Michael: Well, uh, as for Fridays, I sometimes just relax at home by watching a movie or inviting you over to visit.
Josh: If I buy the pizza.
Michael: But . . . bu . . . And on Sundays, I take the day off from exercising, but I usually take my dog for a walk.
Josh: Forget it. She'll never buy this story.
No hay comentarios:
Publicar un comentario